Sunday, April 24, 2011

Mom of a son with Developmental Delays............... takes worship to a whole new level!

For the most part, I have very seldom seen a person with developmental delays at church whether young or old. I rarely see them in a restaurant, store, or anywhere else in public other than an event specifically for them. I know they exist. Most caregivers and parents understandably find the idea of taking their loved one out in public both horrifying and embarasssing. Many behaviors and sounds are difficult to manage at best. No one wants to have a conflict with others about their child's right to participate in activities people with no cognitive disabilities can. In some cases, it may even be dangerous. No one wants to distract or disturb others especially in a place of worship. My church has done a wonderful job of including my son in the various Children's ministries at church by providing one to one assistance for everything from Sunday School to AWANA Club and special events. Every church is set up differently with their Children's ministry. Mine is set up so at age 6, children are expected to spend one hour in the service with their family and one hour in Sunday School. Realizing that my son is now 6 years old, I decided to follow the plan that works for most families in my church. I brought my son to the overflow room where people go when there is not enough room in the large sanctuary. I thought there would be a little freedom to stand up and get close to the screen or dance up front, sing and clap to the music. I was completely oblivious to the fact that this behavior was disturbing to others. Afterall, I spend all day with my son everyday, none of this phases me. I quite enjoy his antics. Now, I love my church and the people in it. They told me that this was disturbing to some people and that he is expected to sit still as possible in a chair and only stand when everyone else stands. He of course isn't allowed to start in with the sounds of frustration. I later found out that several people considered his attendance to be inspiring to their worship and so I felt better but I learned an important lesson. Just because my son has his challenges doesn't mean he can do whatever he wants during a church service either! Now everyone was very gracious with me. I returned on Easter determined to help my son participate in a way that would not cause challenges for anyone and when I arrived they had saved a place for our whole family. Instead of letting him run up front. I picked him up so he could see the choir and the screen over the heads in front of him. He clapped and  tried to sing and I knew I was doing something that pleased God. I was literally bringing my burdens to the Lord in a very tangible way. In my worship and singing I experienced renewed strength and peace. I haven't felt so close to God in a long time as I did holding my son and giving myself another chance to do a better job with him. Now he did have to take a potty break and I know he gets more from what is said than he is able to tell me. I often give people a blank stare when they tell me things like, "I don't know why my son is like this!" "I don't get it, why would God allow my son to be like this - I don't understand." To me, the answer to this quandry is simple. It's more about my character and my relationship with God than it is about him. I always come to the same conclusion although I never give the secret away unless I am begged. To do so would be telling the parent of a child with a disability that they have character problems God wants to address. It's not my job to say such a thing. But, Josh does add alot of joy and happiness to the world. But, to those closest to him, he is an instrument of praise, worship, personal and spiritual growth. That's most especially true as it relates to me!