Mom of Developmental Delayed Son goes.....................beyond Supernanny!

These past 6 years raising my son Joshua have taught me that parents of children with moderate developmental delays who are mobile are probably the most amazing and best parents in the world. However, no one would realize it as a passerby in their lives. We are the ones who trained the "supernannies" of the world. We take these experiences head on everyday with little fear. Out of necessity we have a support network of people to help us hold our heads up everday. I have realized that this is miraculous and not of my own doing. It's sort of like Superman who came into contact with some supernatural power that changed everything. If I sent my son to supernanny's house, she would be running away in tears after a short time with him. Yet, parents of kids with moderate developmental delays who are mobile take such events in stride on a daily basis. Imagine the horror I felt when I turned around after 5 minutes and realized my child was not in the house, then I heard the doorbell ring and there were 2 police officers with my son! They tell me that 3 people had to chase him down and that he runs very fast. They try to tell me that they are parents too and they can understand. But, it doesn't stop that horrible sinking feeling and the feelings of inadequacy that quickly begin to beat me down. I can feel the acid in my stomach churn and my blood vessels constrict.The tears roll down my face and I pray because I am a good, responsible mother who is simply facing something far beyond normal child raising. Doubts arise and I fear for my son. I am no more perfect than anyone else in securing my home and keeping my son in it no matter how many locks and alarms I have installed on the doors and windows. Will people question my ability to care for my own son? Will he still be doing this at age 18? Now I know this is far beyond normal consequences and priviledges. Providing lots of structured activities and outdoor play doesn't stop him either. A behavior chart does not address this and neither does safety education although we HAVE tried all of those things. Then, out of my ashes, the Lord comes to my rescue. A friend tells me that she has cared for children like this before and has had escapees. She happens to be one of the best, most experienced moms I know. Another reassures me that I am a good mother and that I can stand through this. I'm not going to break or give up my responsibility to someone else. God reassures me in His word. I begin to think of new strategies. I revise my ongoing list of ideas and strategies to research. I move on with my life somehow just a little stronger, just a bit more humble each time I am knocked down like this. You see, the problem with supernanny is.......she is not real. Real moms admit they don't have all the answers and they are not afraid to fall, even if they would rather not. Reality requires brokenness, humility and personal growth. The next day, I took the advice of a good friend who has a grown son with Autism. She says when I'm having a bad day, to do something fun and enjoy my child. So, I took Joshua and his older sister to the waterpark and a friend watched the little boys. I can't remember the last time I had so much fun with Josh. I was of course, a mother hawk over his every move stopping him from running towards the deep pool, keeping him from taking other kids' toys....holding him on the float in the lazy river. Laughing together as the water sloshed on our heads was healing from the previous day and it's tensions. On television, one person has ALL the answers, in true reality - no one does. My life amounts to more than any reality show would dare even propose.