Oh Christmas Tree, Oh Christmas Tree!

Oh Christmas Tree, Oh Christmas Tree, how mashed up are your branches! I keep hearing from my friends that they just haven't found time to put away everything related to the Christmas holiday yet. The Christmas tree is still up with Martha Stewart perfection. Lovely glass ornaments, cherished knick knacks, elaborate ceramic village displays and so much more. Well, at our house it's usually only the Fisher-Price Nativity set that survives year to year with a few bite marks and minor damage. Joshua had his best year ever with the Christmas tree. He actually helped make and put ornaments on. But, as we got close to Christmas Day he found a grand new activity. I went to the washroom upstairs and he figured out how to take the artificial tree apart and pull it out of the stand. Most of his life he has done this with a natural tree as well but it spills water and real needles everywhere. So we opted for an artificial tree that is pre-lit so he at least can't take off the lights. Anyway, while I was in the washroom for about 30 seconds, Joshua pulled the tree (he removed all of the ornaments and garlands) up the stairs and brought it to me. Then, he was whinning, "mama, fix tree, fix it, fix it, boo hoo!" Okay, so I learned that even artificial trees under these conditions lose needles everywhere and lights do blow out. So I went downstairs and put it back together. Joshua is really obsessed with the lights so I turned the tree on. Josh jumped up and down pointing with his finger and saying, "ristmas reee, rismas ree!" Realizing that I was not going to be able to keep the plastic ornaments with ribbon instead of metal hooks on the tree, I put them away. I opted for the ribbon since Josh would pull off and chew on the metal  hooks! I hoped to explain that the tree is a decoration rather than an oversize stuffed doll. But, he doesn't get it yet. I wish I had a video. Alas, Joshua went ahead and took the tree apart about 3 more times in the 2 days following Christmas. Realizing that Martha Stewart would be horrified, I put the tree away for next year. Now it lies mangled up in the garage waiting to be properly put away for next year! Poor Martha, she would NEVER dream of setting foot in MY home! It's a good thing we have friends like the VanWijks who quite enjoy the comedy of these things and enjoyed Thanksgiving with us. Maybe I should start a new reality show. I'll call it, Martha's Nightmare. I'll make millions!