Mom of Developmentally Delayed Boy............. changes her name!

We love our completely atypically developing son, no matter how much heartache and pain sometimes just happens. My blog has been written specifically to avoid the negativities and the details of painful and trying times. It has been written to help me and anyone else who would benefit to feel better. Move over Supernanny, make way Tigermom..... the new term for mom of a child with cognitive disabilities is SPIDERMOM. I have weaved my webs of hundreds of phone calls to make connections so tight - no good opportunity will escape me to obtain services. So, I wanted to hit myself in the head with a hard object such as a brick and beat myself up some more for not realizing this fact. Many children who have the tendency to wander are not children of bad, neglectful parents who ought to be jailed or hung by their toenails when wandering incidents happen. Some are, and some are NOT. My husband and I are NOT. The question is, why did it take me dozens of incidents (99% or more of which I immediately rescued my son from before anything negative resulted (see my Superhero post) before I would realize the child needed an Autism evaluation? Why did I not consider medication an option before? OK, so the first doctor who gave us a diagnosis said he was not Autistic and did not have PDD. That must be why. But, who disabled my spider senses that I wouldn't know better than to second guess this? That doctor also did not tell me that later on, my son would require a behavioral diagnosis which is different from a diagnosis of his level of cognitive functioning. No one could explain that unitl now. I had to bring Joshua into emergency psychiatric intervention to have these things explained to me. It seems I could not find proper help prior to now because he was not in a crisis situation. I'm thinking, "NOT FAIR." But, I won't be overcome. I have supernatural forces on my side! Children who have the tendency to wander off are most often on the Autism spectrum. In fact, this October there will be a new medical diagnosis for children prone to wander. Would you know what to do if you have a child who is prone to wander off? Here are a few more important facts everyone should be aware of. People who have Autism whether young or old have a high mortality rate due to the tendency to wander. The biggest reason for death is drowning. How many times have I heard of children with cognitive disabilities drowning, being murdered by their own parents, abused, put in cages, tied up or any other number of horrendous things I won't even discuss here? People don't know, don't think and don't realize that this is not a bad child. This is not even a dumb child. This is a child with unbelievable POTENTIAL that he can pick up on the nuances of situations to know how to do these things!!! It's up to me to UNLOCK it. He's probably smarter than any of us - how else could he be able to do the things he does do? WOW - people are not aware. I suppose many parents of children who have these kinds of challenges are not aware and do not seek help. Here's my safety tip from your friendly neighborhood SPIDERMOM. If you have a child who has wandered off from your presence and has the tendency to try, DO NOT DELAY. Visit the website http://www.awaare.org/ ASAP. It took me 2 years to find this most amazing resource where they even flat out say it and I like reading it over and over. Wandering incidents do not necessarily mean a parent is neglectful or not providing excellent care in the home. Children like my son are looking for that one moment where I might be for instance getting groceries from the car, using the washroom, taking a quick phone call or putting laundry in the washer. They are not dumb - they are not under stimulated, they don't leave for the sake of something bad happening at home, and it's not for a lack of structured activity and attention. In many cases, it is a lack of impulse control and desire for chaos and over the top excitement. For most children, having the police come out is an undesirable consequence. For children with Autism, it only increases their motivation for the thrill. So, with that being said, many children who receive a PDD, Autism or other diagnosis involving severe cognitive deficit have actually overcome or at least greatly improved. That's where I will leave you with another resource: http://www.autismtreatmentcenter.org/. The only outcome I've ever heard of using the help of the public school alone is a child on medication forever and living in a group home as an adult. Better outcomes are possible. But, it takes a higher level of commitment to parent training and involvement in the life of one child than I have ever imagined. It's like Spiderman 3 where Spiderman teams up with his best friend/worst enemy or else he knows he will be slaughtered because the enemy is simply beyond even his own power. No matter what people think of me, no matter how negative a relationship I may have with certain people, I have been left open to begin enlisting the help of trusted friends and even some people who are that "frienemy" with whom I have many disagreements and conflict, yet deep down we love one another anyway. The loves of my life depend on it. With great power comes great responsibility. :)