Mom of a developmentally delayed son is really...........a superhero!

WOW, I was just realizing today how many important people in my life I have to let down due to the responsibility of caring for my son with developmental delays. I make plans to attend a wedding for example. But, then on that very day, Joshua wakes up with an odd cough and that smell coming from his nose. Well, I know that the smell comes from something that he wadded up and shoved into his sinuses. He only occasionally does this a few times a year now. It used to be a few times a week he would do this at pre-school. In any case, when a weird cough accompanies the smell, I have to wonder if he swallowed something that could be dangerous. I didn't see him swallow anything, but that doesn't mean he didn't! So, I missed an important family wedding in order to take Joshua to the ER. They said he didn't swallow anything but they could not remove the items from his sinuses that they could see but could not get to. They broke a blood vessel in his nose trying. There was no ENT to put him under and flush his sinuses. They said there was nothing that they could do but send me home. Then, I would have to hope the items wouldn't get swallowed and set an appointment with an ENT. I said, "that's okay - I flush things from his sinuses with a neti pot at home. I just wanted to be sure he was not in immediate danger because of the coughing." So, I went home and flushed Joshua's sinuses with the neti pot. He hates mommy the ENT, but I do get the job done much more effectively and faster than anyone else, even the ENT. This kind of thing happens alot, where I make a plan to do something with a friend or family member and at the last minute something goes haywire with Joshua and I cannot show up! For instance, I sign up to help out for something at church and then I realize that Josh has to have special assistance or I won't be able to do that activity. Oh, and then there is visits with relatives in their homes that are not prepared for Josh's safety and well being. If I can't keep him safe in an environment, I simply don't take him there. Sometimes, I appear flustered and pre-occupied. Some people perhaps believe I might be avoiding them or have a personal issue with their presence. Some people might see this as me simply avoiding social situations, being selfish or making excuses. But, they don't see what is really going on. They only see that I didn't show up for them as planned and feel hurt and disappointed with me. I always think of the movie Spiderman 2 or was it the 3rd movie? Anyway, Peter says that for certain he is going to show up for his girlfriend's performance. But, on the way he has to perform an emergency rescue operation. It happens to the poor young man almost everyday! He starts failing in his studies and loses his job. He can't even pay the rent. People think he is lacadasical, lazy, unsocial, foolish and disorganized. But, they simply can't see that he was busy saving someone's life!